Do self-help books really help?
Alright, so this is going to be quite a short entry. A few days back, a friend of mine and I were talking about books. We were discussing the books that we have read. Well, she’s smart, so she was listing out great books like 1984, A Man Called Ove, etc. I told her how I had read quite a few of the “self-help” books during the last year or so (well, pandemic time, so needed some motivation, I guess :3). Then she asked me:
Do self-help books really help?
Now, I had been asking this question to myself after reading each of those books. Seeing her ask the question made me wonder that many people would also have it, so I present my observations here about my experience of reading self-help books. I also did list some excellent books like Sapiens: A Brief History of Mankind, The Innovators, etc. So, I am not all boring books :P
Let me list the self-help books that make up my sample space. After all, it might as well be that I didn’t read the best ones (if that’s the case lemme know about them :P):
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
- No Limits by Mukesh Bansal
- How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
- How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- Aaaaanddd there must be more which I don’t remember :3
Alright. so let’s cut to the chase. In the following sections, I will present my thoughts about reading and trying to “change” my life using the learning from those.
Why do we read the “self-help” books?
A simple answer: To feel inspired and change our lives for good!
I think it’s not really due to the love or interest in reading books, but when we feel something needs to be changed about our lives, we hope that these books will guide us to that change because those are labeled as “self-help” books. However, it might be interesting to think if days of reading a book help us or not after we have finished it. Is it reasonable to have that short blast of motivation and then stillness afterward? This brings me to the following observation.
Another reason for some people might be they want to know the life hacks. Well, that wasn’t the case with me :P.
How much does reading these help?
It depends on the way you look at it, I guess. On the one hand, we forget most of the things we read or learn from the text in the book, retaining only a few (2–5?) of the things to use in our lives. They do help, though, even if we forget the source sometimes :P. On the other hand, it might also be a good idea not to devote so much of our time looking at life hacks of people who are in no way related to us or our field of interest and instead have a meaningful discussion with a person we trust and know. The second one has proved more beneficial to me in my personal experience always.
So it’s like how you want to be helped: by some book or a person you know. Obviously, if you don’t know anyone helpful, you gotta read the books :P.
Are the learnings any good?
The cliched version: Any learning is good learning.
Now, let me tell you straight away that reading these kinds of books is not a complete waste of time. The text is excellent and backed by observations or experiments (at least the writers claim that). Again, my point is the same: those observations were taken a long time ago in a different environment on another person. The situation is changed. Nothing is the same, so you can’t expect those things to work, and believe me, they don’t most of the time :P. These things have been there so long that everything in there is cliched nowadays.
If we look at it from a causal view: taking the learning as the cause of the changed result, it’s fucked up maths there. You can’t refer to learning as the cause because it’s written in a book, and it worked for you. All the conditions have changed (the agents, the environment, everything), so books’ learnings are not the only cause. Other changes also pitch in :3
That’s why people are more dependable, at least they have been in the same environment and sometimes with the same agents as well :P
What about all the experience-based entries?
Yes, so we should definitely read and clap for these :3. We should read the blogs, articles, and short stories as much as possible rather than take up a whole book with these. The reasoning? Well, these are more recent, short, and relatable than books. There’s no selling point even in there, so we can trust most of the things we read. It’s always lovely to read about people’s experiences through blogs because most people (at least I do) write those imagining they are talking to someone. So it’s like a short conversation rather than a long story.
What kind of books should we read instead?
Reading books like The Book Thief, Surely, You’re Joking Mr. Feynman, Animal Farm, etc., is an excellent way to appreciate the books. These books help you understand the effort that goes into presenting one’s thoughts in a manner that will capture someone’s attention even though it isn’t any life hack.
Reading books is a pleasant activity; however, we should always be wary about how we choose books :P
Conclusion
So, that’s all I had to say about my experience with the “self-help” books. I am sure you won’t agree to it completely, so ping me up to discuss! Also, I am always looking for book recommendations, so if you have any, let me know!
You can learn more about me on my webpage.
